Habla Espanol? Ou Parlez-Vous Francais

Here in the Caribbean, businesses, especially those in my industry have begun to advertise jobs requiring fluency in a second language. Ranging from the sexy language of love (French) to the other English (Spanish) and even German.

Taking that into consideration one must, in order to remain competitive, be able to fluently communicate in at least two languages, three even better. With that in mind I have embarked on a quest to become fluent in conversational Spanish an French as well as to be able to write French. However the French is not progressing as well as I’d love it to, due to the fact that I only have a couple friends who speak it and both, like myself, are either in the beginner or intermediate  phase. The Spanish is a little easier as I have quite a few amigas who I can converse with.

I am of the belief that an individual should always be seeking out new ways in which to improve themselves, be it physically (being fit rocks!) or mentally, an as such I have decided to eventually become fluent enough (in Spanish) to be able to redecorate the resume with this bit of information.

Maybe you should too, considering the fact that “the ability to speak a foreign language would be a distinct advantage,” Bear in mind also, that “El que sabe dos lenguas, vale por dos” – the person who speaks two languages is worth two people.

Top Ten Muscles Women Love

Ok. So everywhere u go you are bombarded with weight loss secrets and supplements and exercise aids of all sorts. But many people are just simply too lazy to take that first step and repeatedly I’ve been asked, “why should i bother?”

So all my friends know that I’m a rather conceited person [can't help it], and honestly  there is nothing like hearing “wow u look so damn f*ckable today”, or “i love every inch of your body” or “if I had ur body I would be confident as hell too” or “damn ur so strong, u just make me wanna….”.

But anyways, here is a list of the top ten muscles women love (suh mi hear) i found it while doing some reading on Men’s Health’s website

10. Strong Hamstrings
Many women prefer being on top because it lets them lean forward to rub against your pubic bone. Having well-conditioned hamstrings and glutes makes it easier to meet her halfway for more pleasure. This sounds like a plan to me, squats anyone?

9. Large Biceps
In a poll ofCosmopolitanreaders, 1 out of 5 women confessed that nice biceps on a man makes them “absolutely melt.” Couple extra pushups and you can be the hot knife to her butter!

8. A Big Chest
“Women treasure your chest as much as you do theirs,” says Emily Dubberley, a sex expert based in the UK. “Touching, kissing, and licking a man’s chest is undoubtedly a turn-on for most women.” Really? Did not know that at all….

7. The Money Line [or Road to Heaven (only mel)]
We’re not convinced that’s its official name, but here’s how our female friends describe it: “The muscle that runs diagonally from hip to crotch,” “The muscle that sticks out near the hips—yummy!” and “Lower abs, near his package.”

6. Rock-Hard Calves
“Women want an overall sense of strength and fitness,” says Etcoff. “If a man looks as if he can lift something but can’t run, it looks disproportionate.” not to mention gay…

5. Sculpted Shoulders
“The shoulder muscles are really the muscles of love and war,” says Nancy Etcoff, Ph.D., author ofSurvival of the Prettiest. They also make the whole look when combined with a broad back. Strong shoulders literally sweep women off their feet.

4. A Broad Back
A wide back is essential for a V-shaped torso, and women’s attraction to it is ancestral. “When it was important that our mates protect us from woolly mammoths on the plains, we looked for a gene pool that could provide us with protection,” says Pega Ren, Ed.D., a sexologist in British Columbia. Well I dont know bout the wooly mammoths but i know that I can do my thing

3. A Nice Butt
Women check out your butt because it’s a clue to your worthiness as a physical specimen. If you’re in great shape, it carries high. Otherwise, your rear end droops like a sack of old potatoes. Old, hairy potatoes. Nasty, mildewed, old, hairy potatoes!

2. Powerful Forearms
Women see strong forearms and think you can do everything: Fend off a mugger, build a house, and maintain a dexterous touch long enough to leave them extremely satisfied. So roll up those sleeves, and let ‘em have a look.

1. 6-Pack Abs
You could have biceps the size of bowling balls, but if you’ve got the beginnings of a gut, any discriminating woman will think twice before considering you boyfriend material. Their fear: A little excess midriff meat now means one fat, sloppy bastard in 10 years. Yeah sure, she looking at my abs thinking hmmm…he won’t be a sloppy bastard in 10 years…..we all just that gullible huh?

Fitness shouldn’t be a chore, one can find fun, interesting ways to maintain a decent level of fitness so you don’t burn out going up 4 flights of stairs, or pull something tryina to lift a box.  One of my next posts I’m gonna get into the serious effects being unfit can have an individual.

I Buy Jamaican

With the words recession and economic meltdown making their way into daily conversation, people have begun to look for ways and means of pinching, saving and simply stretching each dollar. In fact as I write I am cooking up a new scheme to make some extra money (I have so many schemes and yet I never seem to have enough money [serious greed]). Anyways back to saving…during this economically challenging time everyone has adapted a simple-minded approach to this problem -> if i save, the more I have for me and my family.

While this would apparently work, there is, in my opinion also a much better way to ease the pressure and improve the standards of living and also improve our country’s current trade deficit. Its not something major that i’m about to suggest, its so simple I’m surprised the government hasn’t [seriously] adopted it.

‘Buy Jamaican, build Jamaica’. Simple isn’t it? While I have personally tried to buy Jamaican where the option is available, many people are of the view that imported goods must be superior, and as such still resort to buying goods manufactured overseas.

While other countries are seeking ways in which to build their countries we are seeking to assist them instead of working on ours. The recent patty fiasco over in Trinidad has strengthened my resolve ten-fold. Despite the fact that both nations are a part of Caricom, and involved n the CSME, and signators to the free trade agreement, Jamaican exporters have been having a hard time with the Trinidadians as their products are sometimes held up [in some cases for weeks!] while our exporters lose money. Case on point being that shipment of patties which was held upfor a WHILE, so they could “check the product, and where it originated……”.

Now I am not hating on Trinidad, because they are looking out for their own as can be seen by the fact the Trinidadian business who place openings on “Caribbean” job search sites such as Splash all have that little tag that says you must be Trinidadian to fill the position. No no, they understand my concept.

What I want to know is, when will our ‘leaders’ start to utilize their senses and use a similiar approach? Instead of sending our hard earned [and scarce] cash overseas invest in things we ‘mek yah’. I check my labels not only for nutrition facts but also for the little ‘proudly produced in Jamaica’ phrase or the pic of the flag.

I’m a proud citizen of this beautiful nation and I will play my part in building it up.

Spawn and Gone

So I usually stay as far as possible from topics which everybody is writing on, however this day always hits close to home and irritate the life outta me. Father’s Day has always been a thorn in my side, this is because for as far as I can remember there has not been a father in my life at all. Unless you count my mother and I love her to death for always being there for me.

Before I go any further let me clarify this, a father is not just someone who got  a woman pregnant. No! There is so much more to that story, a father, in my eyes, is a guy who had a child and was man enough to stick around and be there for the child as the years go by to teach them lessons only a father can teach. To sit and listen to the son go through whatever problems he would be more comfortable telling a man. Setting an example for the son to follow, to show what it means to be a real man. Growing up I had no father figure with whom I could identify and as such I grew up with an emotional disconnect as I always kept everything inside, its only been recently since I have begun to open up (but thats for another post).

The father-child relationship is the defining factor of the fatherhood role. ”The majority of Fathers are naturally protective and supportive responsible parents who are able to engender a number of significant benefits for themselves, their communities, and most importantly, their children.” Involved fathers offer developmentally specific provisions to their sons and daughters throughout the life cycle and are impacted themselves by their doing so. Active father figures have a key role to play in reducing behaviour problems in boys and psychological problems in young women.

Most of my friends either don’t know their father or had not grown up with him around, which leaves me to wonder, was that generation just a bunch of bums who had children just because they can? then leave them on the mother to struggle to make ends meet? How can you look at your seed, your own flesh and blood and then not want to be a part of their lives? This is something that I cannot  fathom, I probably should ask Mr. Senior Jr. and see what his contribution is.

It has been said that “Men often father children but don’t recognize them” – this rings very true as  i doubt my father would recognise myself or any of my sisters at this point in life, as not one of us has had a relationship with him since I became a teen, which of course means that they really have no idea what he was like….

Before I keep ranting and don’t stop let me say that there are great fathers out there who take care of their children, whether they are physiically there everyday or no, and to those select few i say “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!”

Peace.

Great way to end ‘09 sporting season

So after a rather shitty ‘09 sporting season in which almost all my teams got knocked out of their respective competitions or did so horribly they might as well have been kicked out, I finally have something to smile about…I speak of none other than the L.A Lakers winning their 15th championship a couple days ago! YEAH! Finally something to be happy for, Arsenal’s poor showing was a kick in the pants for me as I am a major gunners fan and the fact that it as Man U that we lost to hurt even more (needless to say, Barca kicking their ass was simply wonderful!).

But yea, when u play any game at all the aim is to be the best, and if thats not ur aim then u really need to throw in your towel and get out whatever game it is your playing. That said, if you as a player have an entire song done about you by the greatest rapper alive, (u know who i’m talkin’), then you must be doing something right eh? Congrats Kobe on the fourth and we be looking forward for the fifth bro. Keep breakin’ ‘em off two-four, no Shaq, no Horry necessary….

Anyways its 1:33 in the morning here and I think I need to make a call before I go to sleep so….Imma check out here

Favourite Site online (minus facebook)

I must say, this website cyanide and happiness is simply one of the rudest, most absurd, and simply disgusting sites on the web…but I LOVE IT!!! here is an excerpt, for more cyanide click here.

 

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

hey

I haven’t been on here much of late because I got me a job which my life revolves around now. So I work at night and in the days I sleep (eating optional) and its kinda taking its toll on me because these people seem to be lookin for a slave so I have a li’l sumn in the works (‘micks imma call u some time this week and tell u bout it). But yeah, I’m gon upload some stuff I’ve done in the interrim…

No Sex Ed from ‘Di Teacha’

C is for Condom!

 

So, the attacks on dancehall music continue. This time at the short end (once again) is Adija Palmer, better known as ‘Vybz Kartel’, who has been prevented from performing in the small island of Grenada. Personally, I cannot see the logic behind this, other than the minister not getting sufficient, no better word – any international media attention otherwise. The excuse of course is that ‘di teacha’s’ repertoire of music is too violent and will negatively impact the fans…ok question, since there are already fans there, does this not mean that they have already been introduced to his music?

Anyways, moving along, look at what the deejay and others like him have done since that ban on violent lyrics in Jamaica (which proved to be a ploy by the Government to distract Jamaicans from their horrible economic policies). The deejay has basically become a money addict and has been doing a plethora of more uplifting songs, most notable of these songs is his ode to Theresa Palmer, – Mama. If the artiste has made it a point of duty to clean up his act, and your still holding it against them, what is the incentive for doing so then?

This constant badgering and assaults being launched by various sectors (such as the church , but thats a whole different post) on the artistes irritate the life outta me. They say the music is too violent, BUT yet these same people go to old hits shows to listen and rock the hell out to Papa San talking bout how he is gonna kick down and beat up his girl…I dont remember ever hearing Kartel, Mavado even the very violent Bounty Killa ever say on a track that they would raise their hand against a woman.

But I digress, this post is not just to blow off some steam, bear with me, I had a reason for it. The show which Vybz Kartel was billed to perform on, was a safe sex concert, in which he was to promote his ‘Daggering Condoms’.. In a region that is #1 in HIV cases (outside sub-saharan Africa), we need shows such as these to assist us in educating the masses, since obviously Government programs are seemingly not helping.

Swine Flu

Well, Swine flu is heavy on the lips of the entire world today as it has been sweeping the globe by storm. Swine flu is essentially a new strain of influenza which originally was found in pigs. Now despite the uproar going around, the WHO claims that only 7 people have died from the disease, not the 150+ that is being reported. But of course this could just be a PR campaign to prevent too much panic as is seen in NY with schools closing their doors to prevent the spread.

I found something rather interesting about the disease, and that is that swine flu itself doesnt kill you, it is your body’s  antibodies and their reaction to the new disease which causes the problems. So when that is taken into consideration, who amongst us is most susceptible?  Well the very young, very old, and those in between who are not careful about their diets/physical fitness according to scientists.

I just simply hope too many people dont die from thsis disease and its quickly contained. Then I can stop worrying about my sister too much :s

Untitled

This piece is still untitled I cannot think up a title…open to suggestions….

 

Once, I closed my eyes

And was immediately blinded,

Not because of

Staring at the backs of eyelids,

No, nothing

To do with physical blindness,

But more

With the emotional psyche,

 

I realize I had lost touch

With feelings,

Negative energy built and pent inside me,

First love becomes last love all irrevocably lost love

This thought chides me,

I might as well be blinded,

I could’ve had the sweetest girl beside me,

But in love with my façade was I,

So much so I had to kiss her

Goodbye,

 

Conscience fights me

Saying

All needed from

You was

A commitment

 

So simple but I couldn’t decide,

How foolish was I,

Yet tears stained eyes,

When news broke of the new guy,

But I wish you the best

No I lie,

 

Since there is no more you and I,

I wish to once again close my eyes,

And be blinded by the light,

Swallowed by the pain tonight,

As it has been all my life…

 

                                                                                                   By: Alphonso ‘Maèstro’ P4L